"DARTFORD? DARTFORD? What are you doing in that crap-hole? God, everything is cheap in Dartford, including the women. Oh boy, Dartford. I'm shocked more people don't throw themselves in the Darenth River. Do you ever see people just laying face up in the Darenth?" and so on, at length. Can't get enough of the British brutal honesty. I just love it. For real.
Upon reaching Bristol we cozied up at Chels' house for the night, with a long day of touring in front of us.
Saturday morning we woke up to a light rain (remembering this was the start of February, the weather was pretty good!)
We took the train out to Salisbury in search of Stonehenge. The bus tour to Stonehenge was quite pricey, and we found out that you can hire a cab to take you there, wait for you and bring you back for £35. Not bad!
We lucked out and got the best cabbie ever. He tells us "I'm going to take you the back route and show you some cool stuff." - This could either be the best day of our lives, or the last day of our lives, but either way we would have a story to tell. He showed us a bunch of places where various Kings got beheaded (sweet) in the 1500s, but then, place of all place, he is showed us STING's house! Yes that's right STING! Madonna stayed their on her honeymoon. NBD. Love it. Thank you awesome cab driver.
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| Sting's House!! |
Stonehenge was, well, Stonehenge. You've seen the photos. It's pretty cool to see in real life, but I was highly disappointed that I could not touch it. I had been warned in advance of this fact, but it was uncanny how much I just wanted to touch it when I got there. We toured Stonehenge using audioguides and finding out that the mystery of Stonehenge remains unsolved, which really irked Jocelyn.
Regardless of how lackluster the actual monument is, I think if you are in England you should check it out. It feels very cool to stand there with Stonehenge, and it is definitely on the ultimate bucket list of things to see.
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| Stonehenge |
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| Me & Stonehenge |
We headed back to Salisbury, en route to our next destination, BATH!
Upon reaching Bath we found that it is the cutest, most quaint place in the world! Proof:
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| Man playing the violin on a tightrope, while a couple ballroom dances. Only in BATH! |
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| Majestic Bath Abbey |
We spent the day touring the Roman Baths, it was lovely and educational.
Upon reaching the water at the bottom, we decided it was probably time we touched the water, to see what the fuss was about. An employee immediately rushed over, chastising us for not reading the sign (the world's smallest sign) about not touching the water (HOW DARE WE!) and told us to wash our hands immediately as the water is not purified (HOW AWFUL!) and we might get sick. I tried to explain to her that I spent my summer swimming in Lake Ontario across from downtown Toronto, but she didn't understand the similarities in water quality I was attempting to make. If only she knew. I rushed off to wash my poisoned hands, and spent our entire delicious pub dinner watching my hand to see if it would turn green, set fire, or do something else similarly interesting, however, it did none of the above, and just remained a plain old hand. Such a tease.
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| Roman Baths from Above |
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| Hanging in some ol' Roman springs - NBD |
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| Standing on the edge of the baths |
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| Touching the water - naughty, naughty! |
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| Getting told off for touching the water - damn them! |
After dinner in Bath we headed back to Bristol for a night of drinks. We went to a local pub with a live band where we attempted to request various Canadian artists like Tragically Hip and Sam Roberts, but they could not appease us. Eventually we gave in and requested Mumford & Sons, getting our absolute fill on "Little Lion Man" (best song, EVER.)
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| Night of casual beverages |
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| Lovely Smitty-like singer |
Sunday morning Chels fed us lovely pancakes with Real Canadian Maple Syrup.
All-in-all, life was good!!
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